HIDDEN FIGURES

I have to admit I am an Oscar’s junky. I love to curl up for a few hours each year to watch the stars on the red carpet and celebrate the movies of the past year. One of the nominated films this year is called “Hidden Figures” and it tells the story of three African-American women who were the brains behind the success of the NASA space program in the 1960’s. These women worked under discriminatory and unfair labor conditions in the basement of a building yet continued to provide outstanding results as mathematicians. The lack of recognition did not affect their work ethic or commitment to the process of doing the right thing.

Stories that reflect on our past and become a catalyst for change are vital to our culture and need to be told, but what about those hidden figures who slip through life unnoticed yet have an immense impact on our lives? Those unsung heroes who not only live a life of grace themselves but also reside in the background of our day to day lives as the foundation of our strength and courage. I have several that come to mind in my own life but I would like to tell you about two of them.

Anna, my maternal grandmother, is buried in a small grave in northern Kentucky. There was no movie about her life and her obituary was a small paragraph on page 9 of the newspaper, but her impact on my life was Oscar worthy. After the passing of my grandpa, my mom and dad moved in with my grandma when I was one year old and we lived with her until I graduated from high school. My father was a severe alcoholic who never held steady employment while my mother worked three jobs to support the family.

Grandma was the one who met me at the door every day after school and surrounded me with a sense of normalcy in an otherwise chaotic environment. She talked to me about my plans for the future and made sure I knew the importance of education. Being a religious person, Anna would take me to church with her as well as the weekly neighborhood rosary meetings.  Many times, she would let me lead the prayers on Monday nights and brag to her friends about me. Her presence in my life gave me a sense of hope for my future and without it, I don’t know who I would be today.

As a child, we all need that one person who thinks we “hang the moon.” When I was in my early grade school years, I was a bed wetter. I am sure it originated from the turmoil in our home but no matter the cause, it made me very anxious. I did everything I could to prevent it but the more I tried, the worse it became. I shared a bedroom with my grandma and, most nights I would wake her up in the middle of the night to tell her my bed was wet. Not only did she get up and change my sheets and make sure I was cleaned up before going back to bed, but she never made me feel bad about it.  “It’s okay honey. Just go back to sleep.”

Fast forward to my adult life. After the death of my husband, I went to nursing school to be able to support my family. Although I did well in school, those old feelings of inadequacy crept back in to my mind as I started my new job as an RN. My grandmother had passed away and I was now the grown up. Working on a stressful cardiac unit, I questioned my ability to be able to be successful in this environment. The constantly changing milieu and the sudden decision making situations were a reminder of the unstable upbringing of the past and I needed a support system. There was a colleague of mine who was in a leadership role who happened to see in me things I could not see in myself. She was a quiet mentor and role model that I could use as my compass when I was lost.

One day, I made a decision based on everything I knew but the physician felt I had put the patient at risk. He belittled me in front of the patient and family and I was devastated. Even though I loved my unit, I was ready to resign and move to a less stressful role because I did not feel worthy. This person took me aside and spent time telling me about similar situations she had faced as a young nurse. “You are a good nurse,” she said to me as she looked straight into my eyes. “Do not allow the rudeness of one question your ability and self-worth. This floor and these patients need your skills and knowledge so if there is a lesson to be learned, take it in and move forward.” Her words affected me on a professional level as profoundly as my grandmother’s words affected my personal life. I remained on that unit and years later, became the manager of that floor.

I am so grateful for these two individuals in my life and I know they would be proud of me today. They helped me to become the person I am and I can only hope that I can be a “hidden figure” for others like they were for me. We never know how our support and encouragement can raise up others when they need it most. Think about those people who may have had an impact on your life; those who quietly sustained you without fame or recognition and appreciate their impact by becoming all you were meant to be.

So at the Heart of it All, we all have “hidden figures” in this glorious thing called life who hold us up when we cannot stand on our own. No movie; no Oscar; just a gift of love.

Peace and joy.