LET IT GO

My granddaughter loves the movie “Frozen” and can sing along with all the songs throughout the movie. Her favorite one is “Let It Go” and she dramatically tosses her head to the side, throws her arms in the air and closes her eyes as she bellows out the words. During her last performance, I asked her what she thought those words meant and she gave me a look like I was ridiculous to even ask. With the raw honesty of a seven-year old she replied, “She just needed to let go of everything and only believe in herself, grandma!” How can such a simple statement from a child be so hard to follow as an adult?

I remembered that conversation recently as I began to prepare for a new life transition. I recently had a devastating ankle injury which left me non-weight bearing for eight weeks, and during that time of rehabilitation, I realized that my living situation may not be a safe environment at this point in my life. I live in a bi-level and recognized that if I needed to escape quickly under those conditions, I would have had to find an alternate exit since I was unable to maneuver the steps. This then led to a future life evaluation and, in the end, I became the owner of a new condominium!

This decision of course, has led to many other selections and choices I have to make before I finally move. This was the house Rob and I bought together; where he spent his last days on earth, and where the boys were raised until they went off to college. In addition to the house, there was 31 years of possessions to sort through and purge because my new space would not accommodate everything in my current home. Lots of memories and emotional attachments to so many things, but I am trying to learn a new way as I go through this process. Or as Calissa says with such enthusiasm, “Just let it go grandma!”

In her book “The Life Changing Magic of Tiding Up,” Marie Kondo says, “The space in which we live should be for the person we are becoming now, not for the person we were in the past. When we really delve into the reasons for why we can’t let something go, there are only two: an attachment to the past or a fear for the future.”

As I read that, I realized that I probably had both the attachment and the fear but I was determined to work through it. Many of us have so much “stuff” that weighs us down both physically and emotionally that it interferes with life. I know people who cannot park their expensive car in the garage because it is filled with things they don’t even remember or use. I knew I was on the right track but I had no idea where to start.

So, I decided to start one drawer at a time. Ms. Kondo says, “The best way to choose what to keep and what to throw away is to take each item in one’s hand and ask: “Does this spark joy?” If it does, keep it. If not, dispose of it. This is not only the simplest but also the most accurate yardstick by which to judge.” As I surveyed the contents of each space, I did just that. I held each item in my hand and then decided to keep it or to let go. It was a slow process at first but I finally understood. It wasn’t the item that was important; it was the memory attached to it and I would always have that to hold in my heart.

The purging was life changing; I am still in the process but I have made progress along the way. Keep, discard or share; these were my three choices with each item. Some things were still in good shape but just not useful to me anymore, so I thanked it, blessed it and passed it on to someone who could now use it. It may sound silly but as I proceed, I feel “lighter.” When I move, I will only take the things that I need and use and will not be weighed down by the excess while looking forward to what lies ahead. Bryant McGill says “Abundance is a process of letting go; that which is empty can receive.”
As I continue the practice of purging my possessions, I realize this is just a small part of letting go. A bigger piece of this practice is all the emotional baggage to which we cling. So many times we hold grudges and judge others with such intensity that the weight stagnates us. I have come to realize that there are times I have allowed a comment or an action made by someone else to ruin not only my day but how I interact with others, but I also know that forgiveness of self and others is the key to a purposeful life. Roy Bennet writes, “Accept yourself, love yourself and keep moving forward. If you want to fly you have to give up what weighs you down.”

It is funny how the universe works for us. Something as terrible as my fractured ankle has brought me to a better place both physically and emotionally and now I look forward to a new chapter in my life. If we could just learn to stay out of our own way and have faith that all works for the greater good and that the less we carry, the easier it is for us to experience life to the fullest. The burden of possessions both tangible and emotional does not have to be ours to bear and it all begins with the art of simply letting go.

Peace be with you