CONSIDER THIS

A thirty-three-year-old female police officer from a local community was killed in the line of duty last week and her funeral was televised this morning. Because of the COVID-19 restrictions they could not perform the formal ceremony at the grave site so they conducted it outside the church before the private service inside with her family. 

It was a beautiful day honoring a young woman who had so much potential. A graduate of William and Mary College and an outstanding athlete, her potential was limitless, and those who knew her said her goal was to become a US Senator. Her accomplishments included several leadership awards and the word “kind” was consistently used when describing her. 

Of course, I cried as I watched the service. It was a stark reminder of my young husband’s death. The twenty-one-gun salute, the haunting playing of taps, the folding and presenting of the flag; all triggering a flood of memories as if it was yesterday. I thought of her family and how today they were surrounded by a community of supporters, and how they will need to remember that love in the days ahead when the grief is overwhelming.  

We are taught to always try to see the good in any situation but witnessing the sudden loss of productive lives such as Rob’s and this young woman’s, it’s hard to imagine.  It seems senseless to even consider anything positive from such tragedies, and, working as a nurse for many years, I struggled with how to find answers in those same situations each time I was faced with them. I can only hope that there is some purpose for things we don’t understand, and take any lessons we can salvage as we sift through our feelings and emotions.

As I sit here today practicing social distancing and not knowing what our future will look like after this crisis, I wonder if the answer is buried in obvious. Maybe it is a wakeup call for us to step back and take a deep look inside. They say people don’t like to talk about tragedies because it becomes too personal. No one wants to think of the possibility of those things happening in their life. I can only imagine the thoughts of the officers and their families who honored this young woman today, knowing this could have been any one of them, and friends told me after my husband’s death that they felt selfish for trying to block out the thought of being a young widow.

But in this current environment we are bombarded with constant information about the situation and the effects on each of us individually as well as an international community. We do know how COVID-19 can affect us personally because we live it 24/7. We are immersed in it and because of this, it is refreshing to see the out pouring of care and support for each other. The same folks who were fighting over things like politics and religion are now helping each other out and writing uplifting messages on social media. We are so good at coming together during tough times, but as people go back to their hectic lives and distractions, history has demonstrated that the kindness and tolerance decreases as well.

I just ask that you might consider a different way of thinking as we process our way through all of this. During this time of uncertainty, maybe each of us could take a deeper look at our beliefs and actions of the past and think of one or two things we might reconsider. Our group thinking and support is helping so many people during this time and together we can help many, but we also need to look at ourselves individually. Instead of going back to the way we were, maybe we find a new normal. A kinder more generous life when there is no tragedy. When people asked me what they could do for me when Rob died, I said, “Call me in six months.” What would the community spirit and national unity look like in six months after this situation has past if everyone reflected on becoming a better person than they were before it occurred. 

Edward Everett says, “I am only one but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something.” If each of us makes a conscious decision to do better at this thing called life, imagine the magnified effect of this collective body on the fate of the world.

 So, at The Heart Of It All, in this glorious thing called life, maybe that is the urgent and critical message of the senseless loss of a life or a pandemic outbreak; that life is short and precious and we need to understand and live to the full human potential not just in times of need but this day, every day. 

Namaste